A Soldier's Family

*I just wanted to post this for my brother and family. It's an Editorial that I wrote when he first entered the military. 

My brother is 24 years old and has just enlisted in the United States Army.

“He was the most beautiful baby in the hospital when he was born and all he wanted to do was sleep,” My mother always says when talking about his birth and he was really the most beautiful baby there.

I was five but I remember clearly going to the hospital to see him. I stood on a little stool and looked in the nursery room window at what my father was pointing at; a calm serene little bundle with golden curls on his head. He just laid there sleeping, not a care in the world.

Of all the things that my family thought that he would be, we never thought that he would be a soldier. I thought he would be a director or a writer for the movies, he’s always had a wonderful imagination and he it uses too. He would entertain himself for hours making up his own worlds that had both Jedi’s, and Transformer’s living in huge block cities. One of his favorite things to do was to re-enact Indiana Jones movies and add more to his favorite scenes. One time he even tied up the little girl that my mom baby sat and left her there while he was fighting off some bad guys.

Now he’s going off and joining the military.

His joining the military has been hard for my whole family. We have a big close nit family, made up of my mom’s brothers and sisters. Being so close, this has affected them as well, not just the immediate family.

When people find out that my bother has joined the military they always say, “I didn’t know that your brother supports Bush and the war in Iraq.”

Well, his joining the Army has nothing to do with Bush or the war, in fact my brother is against Bush and the war, but he joined to protect his family, America and to further his career. People always assume that when anyone joins the Army that they are joining for those reasons, they never look at the whole picture or the person. And they hardly ever look at the family who is left behind.

This has been one of the hardest things for me to deal with. My brother has always been there and he is the one person that I have always just been able to hang out with, without having to worry about anything with. Especially lately, he has become not only my brother but my best friend. He makes me laugh and I can talk to him about anything and everything. He has become my daughter’s adopted father when her birth father wouldn’t step up to the role and for that I am thankful. She really loves him and there is no one in her tiny world who compares to him not even me, to her he is the sun.

My mother has taken this hard too. She adores my brother after all he is the youngest of us all. As usual though, she is taking it in stride ready to deal with anything. It has to be hard to be sending her child off to the military.

My sister and her husband recently moved back from Hawaii after living there for 2 ½ years. She has been spending as much time with him as possible before he leaves for basic training. The two of them are very close and are close in age as well. They love being together. She is very upset that he is going into the Army, because it is something that she didn’t want him doing, especially with the war going on, but even before she thought going into the Army was crazy.

Our extended family is very sad and worried about him going into the Army. Everyone will miss him and have some void now that he is leaving. He has meant something special to everybody. My Uncle Jim has always been close to my brother, looking after him like he was his son more than just his nephew. When my brother was little my uncle used to take my brother with him quite often and my brother has always enjoyed his time with my uncle.  

The war in Iraq is something that we all think about it, but we never say anything. I think that the hardest thing about him going into the Army isn’t his leaving for boot camp, but that we don’t know where he is going. That’s the scariest part, the not knowing. All you can do is hope.  

Summer Time

So far this summer has been very quiet and slow. Which is good when you really do have a lot to get done. I know that I've been gone for awhile, but I've been looking for a job and taking a few courses to dust off some skills that I let lapse while at my former employment.

I'm taking a Screenwriting for Television at Coursera as well. It's got me back in a grove and I've found a project that I really want to flush out and develop. I'm excited by the whole thing. I've also been working on putting things together for publishing company, hoping to put the call out for submissions by the end of August.

Lately though I've been thinking about putting a serial out once a month on this blog along with actually blogging. I'm just trying to flush my main character out and to see where this story takes me first. I'm hoping to have a final copy ready to go up next Sunday. I'm also going to get proactive with this blog. Any suggestions for articles please leave them in the comments section. As much as I was going to try not to write about politics so much here, I think I would be doing myself a disservice if I didn't write about the upcoming election, the world around me, etc. and besides I do like to write about politics, it's why I went to Journalism school.

Anyway this is going to be a short blog today, just kind of summarizing what I've been up to, or really what I haven't been up to.....

P.S. Follow me on Twitter @ChristineLarran  and keep an ear open for upcoming podcast, name to be released soon.

Unemployment and my ideal job.

I recently left my day job, not to go into too much detail, I really just was not vested in the whole business of structured settlements. It just wasn't my thing. Since leaving
 my job I have been looking for a copywriter or editing position. It's been interesting, mostly because my career has been more technical writing than anything. I would like to branch out and work in a creative environment this time around.  In searching for a job it got me thinking about the idea of the ideal job.

I sometimes think that the ideal job is a misnomer because would anyone work for anyone else if they didn't have to?

With that in mind, I do have two ideal jobs if I have to work for other people. The first one is working in a creative environment at an ad agency, magazine or a publishing house. It would have to be laid back but deadline driven and with a purpose. I know it sounds weird but these places do exist. I would love to be involved in one. I have a lot to offer, not only with my writing and ideas, but I'm a hard worker, loyal and competent. Plus I like writing and brainstorming. I'd like a copy writing or editing position simply because I am good at both of these and they give me a freedom that settlements and technical writing doesn't.

My second ideal job is actually a dream job, primarily because I would have to go back to school to do it. I would love to be a Profiler. Researching and looking at psychology studies etc., sounds like a great way to spend my days. I have thought about going back to school to get a degree in psychology, but I already have college loans and I'm not sure that I want to add to them. It would be fun and interesting though. I think about it a lot actually, but really more student loans is not something I want, so this may have to stay a dream. Fun to think about though.

In actuality my real dream job is to direct and write movies. Movies are my passion. I'll get there sooner rather than later. But right now I'm working on starting my own publishing company. I will have to get a day job for now, but I'm hoping that in the near future it will become my only job. Books are my second passion next to movies. I would like for this to hopefully roll into a production company. It'll work. One of the main things that I hope to do with my publishing company is support local writers and artists. I'd like to be able to have a scholarship for writers, especially for kids who want to go to college and come from low income neighborhoods. I'd also like to be able to start neighborhood gardens in low income neighborhoods where people can get good food on there tables. I really want my company to be focused on helping people, not just writers but the communities that they come from, because I believe if we do that we can create more artists and keep it going. I'll have to start out and work out of my basement for now but that's okay, I like my basement. I am also going to be starting a podcast where we talk about books, art, jobs everything. It won't be solely focused on one topic, it will just depend on whats going on or where the conversation takes us.

I am taking a proactive approach to blogging, I will have a new blog post every Wednesday and once a month I will publish on a Sunday. I need to make this my priority regardless of what else is going on. I have no excuse for this not being my priority since I don't have a job right now...and hopefully all you readers out there like to read what I have to say. Leave comments about anything in the comments below. I also have a website https://christine-larranaga.squarespace.com/   if you want to know more about me where you can find this blog and some of my photography work. Feel free to also leave ideas for podcasts. Also I will be starting a crowdfunding campaign for my publishing company and should have a website set up for my publishing company soon, so please check back for updates. I hope everyone is doing great and you'll be hearing from me on Wednesday!

Why, Gilmore Girls, Why? And Other Things

So, I just spent two (okay,maybe longer, I watched other things in between) weeks watching Gilmore Girls...I have no excuse for it, I love it. The witty quips,the quick back and forth, the astonishingly great wardrobe of Lorelai Gilmore. And the Bangles finally getting credit as one of the greatest rock bands. I love this show.

Really what's not to like? The towns people are bat shit crazy, but lovable. Emily and Richard Gilmore aren't as blue blood as  they think they are, I mean they raised Lorelai, that rebellious and stubborn streak came from somewhere. I think maybe it's because I wish I had half the guts of Lorelai. She just goes out and does what she sets out to do and I keep making excuses about things and putting off writing, etc. There is nothing more that I want to do than write. It's what drives me. Yet I have a hard time writing lately. This is easy and I'm not sure why. I can write something here, have great ideas for a script but have a hard time sitting and putting my ideas down and I shouldn't. I think it has a lot to do with fear. Fear sucks and really there isn't much I fear..well maybe just a committed relationship..but that's not a fear, it's just not what I want (maybe, if the right person comes along and they wouldn't mind doing the whole Goldie Hawn/Kurt Russell thing), ..... I want to write and make movies. 

Anyway, I wasted two or more weeks watching all seven seasons of the Gilmore Girls. All I have to show for it is I figured out my favorite episode, well...I at least narrowed it down. Top three A -Tisket, A-Tasket, They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They? and I Get a Sidekick Out of You. This show is just great, funny, inspirational, and fills up time when you're trying to figure out your next step. 

I have also spent a majority of the summer listening to lots of Jack White and if you know me, you're saying of course you did, Christine, you love Jack White. What can I say the guy can write music that makes me think. Also he's been in the news lately, (he and Loretta Lynn received stars on Nashville's Music City Walk of Fame in June) with a new album with The Dead Weather hitting in September and taking a break from performing live for a long while and then being added to the line up for Stephen Colbert's The Late Show. There has to be genius behind these antics, something big this way comes with Jack White. 

Jack White is just interesting. The man can write some of the best lyrics and can play any instrument out there, he makes it sound vastly different than anything else you've ever heard. Like almost everyone else I loved the White Stripes, but I don't think it was his best work, I still think that is yet to come. One thing that really makes me like Jack White is his support of local bands. He really wants people to get out and see the music that's around them and make something of their communities through music. He gets that music forms a big part of communities, something we all need to realize, so please visit places like The Hi-Dive, Meadow Lark, Larimer Lounge, The Bluebird, Summit Music Hall, and Walnut Room, all of these venues feature local artists and up and coming bands passing through on tour, so get out and support artists, you never know who might be the next big thing and you can say I saw them first.

Sorry if a lot of this is just me yammering, but sometimes to get things going you have to yammer. This got things flowing for me. I won't be taking long breaks anymore as I plan to update this blog every Wednesday morning, a plan I'm putting into action by making an article list for the future. I'm going to be working on a script and putting deadlines in place for that too, I'll mention how things are going at the end of articles just to keep myself accountable and on track. I'm also starting on a lifestyle change, I have to for myself, so will be posting about that as well, again to keep myself accountable, but mostly I will be posting about music, movies, politics and the world in general, hopefully I won't bore you all. Screw fear, it's not worth my time not getting to do what I want and set out to do. 

Family Beliefs

If my family had a list of things that we hold true, it would be the following list: 

1) Margaritas are THE family cocktail. If it's too early for margaritas, than a Bloody Mary will do, and rum drinks are always welcome. 

2)Jimmy Buffet is King. (My sister, brother and I all knew the lyrics to Why Don't We Get Drunk and Margaritaville at a young age). 

3) Dogs are the best pets. Cats, they're weird (have you seen them throw their leg over their head? WEIRD....okay I do like them and we've had a few. I mean how else are we supposed to keep the little soul sucking trolls at bay? Thanks Drew Barrymore and Cat's Eye for making me look into that mouse hole and finding a mouse). 

4) You can only have sugar laden cereals on the weekend, and really only on Saturdays and you must watch Saturday morning cartoons. I miss watching Land of the Lost and eating Frankenberry. *SIGH*

5) Going to watch movies are a regular family activity. As is forcing us all to play Yahtzee, because that one certain person always wins and they force us all to play; even though we've all actively hidden the game from that person during the week.

6) Watching your sibling cry on a bike ride is a must at least once a month. 

7)  Again movies. Lots of movies. 

8) Again watching that one sibling cry on a mountain hike...no the beautiful scenery didn't help, we could still hear the pouting and crying. 

9) Education is important, we don't allow you to be Little Yahoos forever. 

10) If you're a kid, don't bug the adults when we have company. If something happens between you and your cousins, resolve it yourself. It was like Mad Max Beyond Thunder Dome in the family room and someone might have gotten hurt, but you didn't bug the adults unless there was blood or a bone couldn't be popped into place. 

11) If there was a family activity going on, you enjoyed it and had fun. There was no complaining, you just had fun with your family. 

12)  Don't bug the parents before they get up. Make your siblings cereal and watch t.v., usually Solid Gold or WWF wrestling on Sundays. HULKMANIA!

13) Family dinner is a must. We had to eat dinner with the family almost every night unless you were spending the night down a friends house or spending time with another part of the family.

14) Your cousins are your best friends and just like your siblings. You will spend more than half your time with them so y'all better cling together and get along. Honestly though, I had the best times with my cousins and love spending time with them. I wish we spent more time together. 

 

15) There is no getting out of playing Yahtzee. 

16) The Beatles are the best band ever and as much as we like Paul McCartney, John Lennon was the better song writer. 

17) Family always has your back. 

The Hunting Ground

Sundance Film Festival premiered the documentary The Hunting Ground  at the 2015 Film festival. It's a film that I believe that all parents of young girls should watch. As a single parent of an 11 year old girl, I want to be aware of what kind of world I will be realistically sending my daughter into in a few years.

I want to believe that I am hopefully sending her somewhere that she can get an education and be safe. Unfortunately, I know that is not realistic. I know that anything can happen to her anywhere, and that right now I can some what control situations and make her aware of certain things. When she goes to college, unfortunately, it is up to her to control her surroundings. I hate that in this society we have to teach our daughters to act like victims already. What I mean by that is that we have to teach them how to think about what they are doing every minute of every day. It means that they are not allowed to let their guard down at all. So much of this is because of the way that victims are being treated when they report a rape or crime. Colleges have been ignoring  the victims and letting the rapist get away with a crime because of who they are. It's ridiculous that so many young women have been forced to see their rapist almost on a daily basis and have to sit in the same class room day after day. College has become a formidable Hunting Ground and colleges have helped perpetuate this hunting.

I know that most young men don't go to college to rape, but how much of this is peer pressure and the ignorance of other young men at colleges? It really is a shame that parents have to talk to their young sons about how not to be peer pressured into being a rapist. Really it is a shame that people need to talk to their sons about how they will be at college. I really hope that parents sit down and talk to their children about this, regardless of them being boys or girls. I don't like that I have to have a conversation with my daughter about how to protect herself when she goes to college, but really parents should be talking with their sons about this behavior. It is wrong that I have to have the responsibility to teach my daughter how to never let her guard down especially at the place where she is going to get her education, why shouldn't boys have to be talked about how their group behavior, peer pressure etc will affect peoples lives? I would really like to send my daughter out into a college world where I know that she can let her hair down once and awhile and not end up being a victim.

With that being said, please sit your child down and talk about these things regardless if they are male or female. We have to make changes for the better and talking with our children will hopefully help.

Holidays, New Year's and Writer's Block

I think I watched too much Maron, Soprano's and Downton Abby over the Holidays, which means that I had too much time off and too much down time. Plus, I was really sick so I just streamed what ever was on my watch list and just played it and well, slept. I'm starting to feel a little depressed from the over watching of Maron, but I've come to the realization that I do however need to find my own version of Kyle. Not sure where I can find someone that will pin all their self worth on me though.

Anyway the Holidays...love Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I'm glad the gift buying is over. I don't mind shopping and doing the whole gift thing since really the only people I shop for anymore is my kid and my niece and nephew, so really have nothing to complain about. It's just hectic and I sometimes feel the need to yell hatefully at other shoppers when they get in my way or do something stupid, (the over watching and listening of Maron is coming to the surface). Christmas was fun even though I was sick as heck. We just watched the kid open gifts, watched movies and ordered Chinese food. It was nice not to have to worry about what we were having and having to make a meal. Plus we had cookies and junk so really no need to add more to the house....but fattening Chinese food is always good.

New Years, I spent with the kid. It was calm, we played Wii, ate party food, i.e. mini hotdogs wrapped in puff pastry, etc. We watched Dick Clarks' Rockin' New Years Eve, but it isn't as good or as cool as when he was alive. It actually really sucked, I think next year we will go somewhere, not sure where you can take an 11 year old on New Years, but need to find somewhere to take her, I just can't stand Ryan Seacrest and the shows format is awful anymore.

I really didn't mean for this blog to be whiny and self serving, like I said too much Maron makes me whiny. Anyway, Holidays kind of stressful but fun. There were cookies, fudge and lots of chocolate so it was a good time all around. I don't get how people can not like the holidays, the lights, the sometimes snow, and the music and the food....okay the food can be crazy because it's not what we would normally eat at all, but hey it's celebration time. It just kind of makes me wonder why food plays such a big part of all of our society's celebrations. I guess it's because it's what brings people together. One thing I hate about New Years is the resolution. I don't get it. I don't really make resolutions, I really try to just make changes and set goals...which I sometimes don't make. I'm going to try to do a list of adverbs that I will try to keep to this year, which I think may work better. I'm just going to try and make some changes.

So I think that I have a case of the writer's block. I can put things down here and be okay with it but sitting down and working on a story or a script has been really hard. I have an idea and I can play it in my head but writing it down has been really hard lately. I think I need to meditate and do yoga more...or I just need to write. I hate not being able to bring my ideas to fruition. I really want to work on getting something published. I'd really like to make a movie or get the process started on making a movie this year, but I need funding. I guess I could always sell a kidney or other vital organ to get things going....or I could always start a go fund me account or something, but really I would like to work with a company that has the money to do independent movies, like Netflix, Amazon, or HBO. It would be a start at something.

I didn't mean for this entry to be so self serving, but things are what they are right now. I will more than likely be writing another entry about the attacks in Paris last week. But for now Je suis Charlie.